AOL
Things to do while waiting for
AOL to connect
1.Your taxes
2.Complete your BA degree
3.Watch your hair grow
4.Finally clean your keyboard
5.Count the tiles on the ceiling 200 times
6.Think about commercials you saw during the Super
Bowl
7.Scribble I HAVE NO LIFE on a notepad
8.Read War and Peace, and write a book report on it
9.Contemplate the meaning of a General Protection
Fault
10.Watch your AOL stocks decrease in value
11.Become mezmerized by your screen saver
12.Organize your desk
13.Spend "Quality Time" with your hard
drive
14.Plan secret mission involving AOL headquarters and
several rolls of toilet paper
15.Try to remember the words to the pledge of
allegiance
16.Listen to the radio
17.Contemplate the meaning of the word "unlimited"
18.Clip your toenails
The AOL Car
1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet
have a 200 MPHspeedometer.
2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and
fantastic 8-Track tape player.
3. The car would often refuse to start and owners
would just expect this and try again later.
4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to
protect the driver from seeing better cars.
5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year
and claim it's the NEW model.
6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would
just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but
would have lots'a pretty colors and lights.
8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would
have 5 extra seats for family members.
9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must
continue to make payments for 6 months.
10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets
AOL would take the car off of them.
11. The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can
only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car
owners from driving near other car dealerships.
13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car
repair.
14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make
other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
15. It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car
stereo.
16. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost
20% more and gave worse mileage.
17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car
owner he would wonder, M/F/age?
18. It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce
just to marry another AOL car owner.
19. AOL car owners would always claim to be older or
younger than they really are.
20. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL
would claim no other cars have them.
21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it
would say, "Good-Bye."
